I need to learn to say no. I went from a nice relaxed weekend with only one 7 hr shift and spending my downtime cuddling some pups while I dog sat for a friend. Now due to an emergency at work and my ‘expertise’ in this specific area they need me to work, I have even been redistributed from my previously scheduled shift. So my weekend now had a fully slated work schedule totalling 22hrs, a creatively constructed bathroom/walk plan for the pups before work and during negotiated breaks, and one tired girl.
I am a workaholic, previously as necessity, currently more of a habit. But I have been slowing down and enjoying my downtime. My one biggest problem? I just can’t say no. I am not sure if it is the field I work in which is in a caregiving role. If the shift isn’t filled care is compromised and people are effected. Or just my subconscious need to please. I don’t exactly no which it is or if it is a mixture of both, but when I was called in for the initial emergency last night and my new weekend schedule began to unfold before me saying ‘no’ didn’t cross my mind much less my lips. I nodded and helped them tweak and adjust, discussed and outlined biggest challenges and observation strategies, all the while my mind was clicking away outlining my own personal obligations and adjusting schedules ect. It wasn’t until I got home and slumped all exhausted like on the couch that I realized I had no real obligation and could have said ‘no’. I could have kept my lazy weekend. Had a sleep in this morning, enjoyed a leisurely pot of coffee (that was not a typo) and just enjoyed the stillness. Oh well, I still have the coffee, and as long as that keeps coming all will be well.