Daddy REALLY does own my orgasms.
This epiphany hit me, recently. We have always had a sporadic play schedule with stretches of time passing between play dates. Currently we have gone looooonnnnngggggeeeesssstttt time between play dates since we started. When we are together Daddy’s control and influence is absolute and this little one experiences the most intense sensations that send little aftershocks and tingles of pleasure through me for hours sometimes days after. I find such pleasure and freedom in my submission to him, especially as I feel that my pleasure gives him pleasure.
Then we part ways until the next time. sometimes Daddy gives me assignments. These assignments usually make me blush, they get the butterflies fluttering away in my belly and despite the fact that he isn’t there I feel his control. That instinctual need to submit to his will. And despite the blushes, the anxiety over pushing some limit, or the possible pouts over a particular detail Daddy has demanded that he knows will make me fidget with embarrassment, I feel the desire build, the need for release. Release is always granted, though not always timely ( Daddy does like to test his little one’s control now and then) and it is always satisfying. Not quite as much as if Daddy was there bringing me to completion himself, but that connection and again the fact that it is by his instruction and for his pleasure i find that freedom to enjoy the granted release. Then there are the times that this little one is left to her own devices. Daddy has not restricted my orgasms or solo playtime. As long as I always follow the rule to use my words and ask Daddy for permission and announce my cums. Now, I am not gonna lie, I am very experienced with solo play and self gratification. It was my primary form of release before meeting Daddy, so I have had a lot of practice and though rarely mind blowing, it has always done the trick. Until recently that is. During this prolonged absence of play time I have experienced yearnings, had the usual naughty thoughts and I have played with myself and various toys. So the usual. What I have been finding unusual is it just isn’t doing the trick. At least not like it used to. The libido isn’t effected, I still feel the build, the touches and the toys have me writhing and gasping by the time I ask for my release and then…phht. It is a release of sorts, but with all of the energy and intensity it would take to blow out a candle. It is sooooo frustrating. Usually it is only a matter of maybe an hour before I am worked up and hungry again. The result is I am perpetually horny and the only true release I have is when Daddy actually (not assumed) allows it.
That is when I realized it. I have unconsciously given up my orgasms to Daddy. I no longer control my release. It’s a little disconcerting, as it kinda snuck up on me. I mean it was always pleasantly kinky to give up my control to Daddy when we got together but secure in the knowledge that I still had control when I was alone. Now there is an invisible hand staying me, reminding me that my will joined with another’s. Also that added feeling of dependence is a foreign sensation to me that I find myself rebelling against. Though I like to give up control to satisfy that submissive in me, I have always been that person who can manage on her own if needed. That no longer seems to be the case. I am not so much concerned about the increase I Daddy’s influence and control, but more my own neediness to it. What if I become too needy? The questions have started to swirl in my head, my instinct to tuck tail and run warring with my curiosity to explore this new level of the dynamic. Then how to ask for more while not becoming too demanding. Or maybe I am just over thinking? Maybe I just need another mind blowing play date to recharge the batteries. Have any if you experienced that ah ha moment where you realized you reached another level in your submission?