Needs indeed.

  

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There is camouflage in being ‘quirky’

  
My quirky personality really is good camouflage for being a ‘little’ in a big world.  For weeks I have been eyeing this collection of adorable and cuddly looking  hoodies at this store in a mall I frequent.  They all have these  animal characters with big innocent eyes, the hoods have ears and some even have tails on the back hem. 

The store is geared toward maybe a teen  demographic.  I have really wanted to try them on but the big in me felt out of place.  Then there was this 40% off store wide sale!  Well the bargain hunter in me just couldn’t resist anymore.  So I bottled up some courage and entered the younger domain and sifted through the various animal faces to find the one(s) that spoke most to me.  

What does the fox say?!

  
This one was an easy pick!  I have had a minor obsession with foxes ever since that song came out, plus it came in that fuzzy and fleecy material.  The definition of snuggly.

   

This little lamb one caught me with its eyes!  I couldn’t really resist.  It was pink which isn’t exactly my colour of choice, but my ‘little’ is warming to the colour so I decided it would be a good choice.

So I had made my selection, and made my way directly to the check out.  I couldn’t bring myself to try them on in store because that felt like announcing they were for me. I already felt conspicuous, but if I just purchased them, well they could be a gift for a younger sibling or a neice.  That gave me a bit more confidence.

Once I got them home I tried them on and was grateful I was able to get the fit right.  The fox one was super snuggly and I didn’t want to take it off.  Then I was stuck for when I would wear them.  I suddenly was hit with a flash of defiant courage.  I wanted to wear them out! Not just for little time!  So I decided to wear my fox one, later in the week when I went to a casual gathering of friends.  A safer group to avoid mortifying embarrassment, maybe a little ribbing. When I arrived I soon realized my worries really were for naught.  They barely batted an eye in surprise.  Some sang the chorus of that fox song and most asked where I found it, one girlfriend kept stroking my arm in awe of the softness.  But me in a childish fox faced sweater with ears on the hood? It was almost expected.  I am the clown of my group, with the quirky ideas, and the mischievous antics, this really was nothing new to them.  My ‘little’s” confidence grew quite a bit that day.  I have stopped thinking twice about choosing either of them when I am going into town.  They really do describe my personality quite well and I have obviously let enough of my ‘little’ shine through that is commonplace even in my muggle circles.  When I wear something like this it’s just quirky me being quirky me! 

 

It’s been a week!

The last week has been a blur of activity. My hope that Daddy would keep the special assignments to a minimum during my denial punishment proved to be for naught. Daddy seems to be very well versed at this long distance thing. Every morning this naughty little one would receive an email from Daddy. First he would tell me how proud he was of following my instructions which made me swell with pride, then my stomach would fall while he continued on to outline my particular assignment for the day.The first day as I already outline started the ball of rolling with a full hour of teasing in my usual playtime ‘uniform’ as I have come to dub it. My nipples clipped and my bottom plug inserted. 

   
  And Daddy made the stipulation that no hands or toys could be used, so the embarrassment was pretty high as I resorted to grinding my pelvis against pillows or rolling my hips in desperate and extreme motions to try to bring myself the the edge. It was exhausting, embarrassing and in the end effective in setting my frustration level to the maximum. This set the tone of punishment as it got my juices flowing to the point of frenzy and ensured that I would be worked up from the lack of release. Contrition had set in and determination to follow Daddy’s instructions to show my repentance.

The second day Daddy again outlined how his babygirl would play. I was to get in my ‘uniform’ the. I had to go on a scavenger hunt (while suited up *BLUSH*). I had to find a toy to use in my kitty. Daddy wanted me to secure it to the floor so I could bounce up and down on it or the walk where I could work myself on it Doggy style. So nice when Daddy gives me choices. I blushed through out the day as images flashed through my head I the image I would present in the various positions. My poor kitty was throbbing from yesterday’s excercise and Daddy wanted me to take opportunities through out the day, to give the odd clandestine stroke or pat to maintain a maddening level of arousal. Driving was the toughest through out the week during in between times. My hips would roll and grind my seat almost of their own accord trying to find friction. By the time I reached playtime, I was worked up enough to follow his instructions without hesitation, but the foreknowledge that this would not end in release was devestating. Finding my ‘toy’ and rigging it up was quite a process and to have my plug in my bottom the whole time with the inflator bulb swinging between my legs brought the embarrassment level up. My nips had ached with the renewed pressure of the chopsticks and throbbed at every jostle. I was able to Macguyver up a floor rig securing my ‘toy’ ,a long slim candle, using a shoebox and some packing to secure it upright. Finally 45 mins in I was able to mount my self made saddle and start my 30 min timer. Daddy wanted some of my time bouncing vigorously so that my chopsticked titties danced around. I felt like such a spectacle and blushed furiously. Though I had been alone I closed my eyes in an intent to hide. It is harder to stop when you reach the edge when it isn’t a ‘simple’ matter of just removing your hand. While I rode my toy and reaching my climax neared, stopping the movement wasn’t enough and I wound up having to rise high on my knees to remove the stimulation. Again I ended my evening exhausted, cherry red from embarrassment, and wholly unsatisfied. Completely chastened.

Again in the morning. After reading my report, Daddy would send me a message telling me he was proud, stating his satisfaction that his assignments were having the desired effect and issuing my particular play schedule for the day. This time Daddy wanted his little girl to do cornertime before she played. He wanted her in her ‘uniform’ standing with her legs spread and straight and bent at the waist with her nose in the corner for 20 mins without fidgeting. The position was taxing physically and exposing to the point of whimpering embarrassment. In this little girl’s opinion completely impossible to accomplish without fidgeting. After corner time this babygirl had to get her wooden spoon and sit on the bed with her thighs spread wide and give hers naughty thighs a spanking with the spoon. 5 on each side if she didn’t fidget and 20 on each side if she did.  

  
So, yeah I got 20 on each side. At this point in the week this little one began to marvel at the power of Daddy’s invisible eye. There were so many points where she balked at the instructions, debated in her head why she would comply with no one there to witness the act. But knowing she would know she hadn’t complied at couldn’t keep it from Daddy. So wishing she could just fib and take the 5 swats for not fidgeting instead gave herself the 20 per thigh swats she deserved. Fighting with herself at each stinging swing. There were hesitation swings before the end, and a lot of lip biting and whimpers. When she was done she was able to set her timer and use the Ouchie spoon as her toy for playtime. This time when this little girl reached the edge she had to stop and spank her hungry and oh so needy kitty with the spoon 3 times before immediately continued to stimulate it with the spoon. It seems she had to administer a spanking more then she played as she had no time to rest and come down a bit before playing again. The pain from the swats though sharp and Ouchie did little to bank the fires. After the timer was done Daddy’s final wicked instruction was that she had to remove chopsticks from her screaming nips administer 3 hat swats and a a firm pinch and twist. The previous nights had been taxing both emotionally and physically. This added element of self inflicted pain was a little overwhelming. babygirl desperately wanted a cuddle from Daddy and went to bed in full pouty little mode clutching her dolly ‘Sparks’ for comfort.

The next morning Daddy responded with compassion and sent his pouty little girl and internet cuddle. Definitely doesn’t translate well. He then gave her a ray of light the promise that she could possible earn a climax the following day, if she stayed strong and followed his instructions for the day. The timing was perfect and the idea of a possible release had this babygirl eager to prove her mettle. By this point it was Thursday and this little one had bootcamp, which has been pretty taxing with the break over the holidays. Daddy decided to make this assignment an athletic venture. First before playtime, babygirl was was able to give her tender nips a break and as Daddy didn’t require her usual uniform. Instead Daddy had his little one use a pair of chopsticks on her kitty and spend 20 mins in the corner with them on. This little one was a little nervous as she was afraid of a sharp pinchy pain. She was relieved when she had put the chopsticks in place that it was just a sense of pressure. She got in the corner and set her mind not to fidget as fidgeting would mean another 20 mins. She soon found that the sensation in her kitty was a slow build. Soon the pressure turned to throbbing, then it escalated to a sharp ache. The natural response seemed to be to shift to alleviate the building sensation. Babygirl gritted her teeth and resolved to stay still through. The sensation had reached the point that as little time spent in this particular confinement was the goal. She was able to remain still for the 20 mins and was grateful to remove the chopsticks and move on to playtime. Which was gonna be a practice of balance. Babygirl was to balance on one foot with nothing to lean against and play with her kitty for 1/2 hr.

  

 If her balance broke or she reached the edge, she was to switch feet find her balance and immediately start playing again. This is challenging enough, but after spending an hr earlier in the evening doing squats lunges and other various excersizes this little ones legs were already halfway to jelly. The first few minutes were a battle for balance she seemed to have to change feet every few seconds. She then found her stride and though she felt the singing in her legs and glutes she was able to start playing in earnest. She was actually quite proud of her feat as she balanced and posed and stretched as she tried to reach culmination. Boy was it frustrating after all the effort to reach it that all she was allowed to do was stop and switch feet and start again. She imagined Daddy’s pride though and the promise of a cummy tomorrow if she succeeded. She completed playtime and the tone of her report was a little more smug this time as she recounted her compliance. She went to sleep frustrated but with anticipation for Daddy’s reward. I woke up in the morning and eagerly awaited Daddy’s response anticipation my prime emotion. I was in town about my day when Daddy’s response came. Daddy’s words soon had the effect of drumming up nerves, panic, blushes, longing and a full fit of pouts. I reviewed in my mind Daddy’s last message in my head that I interpreted as promising an orgasm if I fulfilled my last assignment. The wording had been I would get the opportunity to EARN an orgasm with the completion of my last assignment. And earn it I would as wicked meany Daddy outlined my jobs for the Day.

Daddy first outlined he wanted me in one of my little hairdos of some variety of piggy tails. 

  
 It always puts me in a more compliant mindset and makes me feel a bit more conspicuous but thrilled when in public. Then he outlined the items I was to collect. When I saw the ginger root my stomach dropped in dread as I have read extensively in figging and though I was intrigued and curious a clumsy solo attempt at experimentation had me writing of the activity off as something that in my case would have to be Dom controlled, with his presence, authority, even some restraints. But Daddy was unaware of my previous attempt and outlined his instructions on how to prepare it and insert it and….hold it as I went on another shopping trip, this shopping trip was to look for a wooden implement to be used on my naughty bottom. I was to search for one I thought would make an impression, select it and buy just that one single item with no other purchases to divert attention. After purchasing the implement I would be able to return home. Have a potty accident in my jeans (Daddy knows this is always an embarrassing struggle for me and therefore, if completed demonstrates my level of submission.) and spend a 1/2 hr in the corner with the fig in my bottom and my wet jeans on but completely topless holding my new spanking implement. 

   
    
  
  After my humiliating and uncomfortable time in the corner, where Daddy really wanted me to think about my punishments, what put me in this predicament and what was yet to come; I was to thank Daddy for putting me in the corner and to apologize for being lax in my journal entries. Then I would be allowed to remove my wet jeans and get on the bed in position 2. My chest down, bottom high and legs spread wide. I was to tease myself for my usual 1/2 hour playing with my nipples and stroking my kitty. AFTER all of that I would be allowed to cum. Daddy instructed me to switch to my dominant hand for my kitty strokes and suck the thumb of my other hand during my cummy time. Daddy wanted me to cum three times without stopping or slowing in between orgasms…more if I could but no less then three. That was my assignment. And I filled with dread when I realized I couldn’t do it. The ginger scared me and the amount of retention time was worrisome. There was the desire to comply but I…just couldn’t. With a heavy heart, I responded to Daddy’s email addressing my reservations. I was heartbroken to have cried uncle and frustrated that I have let an opportunity to cum slip by. Daddy’s response was understanding and open for negotiation. My spirits lifted when I once again realized Daddy’s ability to bend and adapt to my needs and limits. I just need to remember to use my words, which is how this whole thing started, I got overwhelmed in my big life, and instead of getting Daddy’s permission to lighten my ‘little’ load I put it all on me to do my best instead of admitting what I saw as a failing. My lesson has been learned. 

My email was all it took to open a dialogue and between me and Daddy we found a satisfactory alternative to the ginger. I wanted to push my luck and address my potty accident stipulation, but I decided to pick my battles. So the evening had me picking up my supplies and venturing with a fluttering belly to make my implement purchase. I was embarrassed and felt conspicuous, I was certain that everybody I came across knew what the wooden spatula I chose was really gonna be used for. I was grateful to get home, but it took a lot of pacing another 1/2 bottle water and a self pep talk to complete my potty excersize. My wet jeans made my cornertime especially humbling but I was able to focus my thoughts and once again, despite my nerves and embarrassment, settle into my submission when I thanked my Daddy for putting me in the corner and apologized for my indescretion I felt that delightful feeling of weight lifting of my shoulders. My teasing session was taxing but more for the fact that it marked the final step before my reward. The reward…was surprising as though there was release it did make a fairly spectacular final punishment. The first cum when it came was explosive and had me gasping, but it set my nerve endings to hypersensitive, not being able to slow or stop soon felt like I was rubbing sandpaper over my sensitive spots the next to cummys were a battle to reach and the entire time I was on the knife edge of pleasure/pain. In the end was it satisfying? Enough that I passed out before I could tidy up or even change position. I woke up in the wee hours of the morning still sprawled my belly. Daddy controlled this naughty little girl well.

  

Why Did I open my big mouth?!

  
So I need to give some backstory here. As some of you might have read, I earned myself a punishment for not meeting my journal frequency requirements. This was a second infraction so the decided punishment was designed for both discipline and deterrent purposes.  

Now one of the hurdles of long distance relationships coupled with transitory schedules is finding a time to meet up for pleasure, punishment or what have you. Sooooo, I haven’t received my punishment for that infraction yet. Now the fear of that particular bottom blistering had me walking the strait and narrow for a while. Then Xmas happened, my ‘Big’ life responsibilities intensified and….well time flew by in general. And I found myself lapsing in my journal entry requirements once again. Now Daddy has made it clear that if big life takes over he is willing to bend the rules if I ask for a little wiggle room. But I have to ask…I forgot to ask 😦

  
This left Daddy and me with a conundrum. On Daddy’s side, he doesn’t want me to think I can get away a new infraction just because, even though it has been acknowledged and correction has be outlined, I haven’t been punished yet for a previous infraction. On my side, I have asked Daddy to call me on my lapses and hold me accountable but I find it a little difficult when I don’t have the benefit of the preventative reminder and am waiting in limbo.  

So Daddy called me on my lapse and we both agreed it couldn’t slide, he suggested some supplementary punishments to add to my current one. Of course, he asked my opinion, Daddy does so like to draw me into discussion over my punishments, no passive acceptance for me. Sometimes he lists some options and I have the ‘pleasure’ of choosing my poison. Other times he tries to draw out some punishments from my own brain. This time he had listed some options, and this time I countered with one of my own. Part of it was my flight instinct kicking in! I just couldn’t fathom being able to take on anything MORE in one session. My punishment, when it comes, will be rather intense as it is with a number of firsts thrown into the mix. I don’t know how I am gonna react to what is already lined up. I think anything more will be extraneous as the current outline will be preventative enough. Another part of me also needed to start having some sort of immediate accountability. I hate disappointing Daddy and I don’t look forward to punishments but apparently the threat of an elusive session only has so much effect. So this is where I decided to offer up the idea of my own, where I could hopefully spare my bottom later and start paying for my lapse to Daddy’s satisfaction in the here and now. I never had much experience with long distance discipline or how to go about it. I DID know however that when Daddy tested my orgasm denial that it drove me bonkers. So I suggested Daddy take control of my orgasms. Currently I have had assumed consent in place as long as I follow the guidelines and Daddy hasn’t put an assignment in place. So I basically asked Daddy to take the assumed consent away until we can get the rest of my punishment taken care of. Apparently I thought I really had to sell the idea and added the insane idea that for maintenance purposes that I could only orgasm on the days I do a journal entry.  

Well Daddy agreed with my proposal about orgasm denial as a good form of immediate punishment. But of course he made some of his own tweaks. So I am not to orgasm until we meet up. That was supposed to be next week, but a scheduling conflict (on my end) arose so that now may be longer (super big pouty face). Daddy also said that I have to tease myself every night before bedtime for 30 mins. I have to have my nipples clipped and my plug in for playtime. Daddy also said he would throw in the odd special assignment. For instance to start things of Daddy stipulated playtime would be for a full hour and I wasn’t allowed to use my hands or any toys. I had to tease myself by rubbing my thighs together or dry humping a pillow. That kinda thing. It was so embarrassing yet when the tension began to build and instinct took over anything was better then nothing. That set the tone that this was indeed a punishment and I immediately started asking myself….Why did I open my big mouth?! I am definitely gonna be one contrite little girl by the time this punishment is over. But it is a bit of a relief to be able to have a tangible form of repentance instead of a worry over a future event. Here’s to hoping Daddy takes a bit of pity on his contrite little girl and doesn’t throw in too many special assignments.

  

Super Awesome Fun time!

  
How was everybody’s Christmas season?  Did Santa spoil you?  Have fun with family?  Eat more than you thought you could fit?  Haha!  For me it was all of the above.  My favorite Xmas gift had to be the colouring books and brand new set of pencil crayons.  There is nothing like a pristine box of colouring supplies!  I was almost afraid to touch them!  But I broke into them the other day and completed my first mystery picture out of my new colour by numbers colouring book!  Super fun but surprisingly more time consuming then I thought.  Hope everyone had a happy holidays and is adjusting well into the first part of 2016!