Wrong Order of things

So, I have a tendency to be impulsive. Not overly impulsive but I will see or hear of something like a certain activity and it strikes my interest so much that before I have even tried it I start promoting it like it’s the best thing since sliced bread. I sometimes tell others about it like I am a tried and true veteran and attempt to gain support for this activity that in reality I have never actually tried before. To be fair, on MOST occasions, when I finally get around to participating in the activity I enjoy it. I am even pretty good at it and all my bluster is justified. So no harm no foul.

Then…there are sometimes I shoot my mouth off on my blog, about the possibilities and therapeutic benefits of self administered spankings for those long stretches between Daddy visits. I saw some info on it, it struck my interest because I was pouty at Daddy being away so long with work, and immediately thought it would be a good idea to post about how this could be a great activity in a blog Daddy knows about and monitors. Daddy wrote to me the other day and told me he missed me and was thinking about me and that he was soooooo proud of me for maintaining my blog. That he thought that the self spanking thing was a very good idea and that it would be beneficial as a scheduled maintenance practice when Daddy is away on long hauls. He said he was compiling and putting together some training programs for me that will be done soon and that will be a part of it. 

Yeah…so…never actually tried that whole self spanking and now it sounds like it is gonna be a fairly consistent occurrence for this little girl.

So this evening after work I mustered my courage and thought i would do a dry run of it before my new schedule is completed and Daddy exerts his dominance. I was nervous, a little excited and determined to prove this would be like so many other activities I have advocated for blindly to be enjoyable.

I bared my bottom and decided to apply a bit of icy hot to my cheeks to make up a bit for what I assumed would be less forceful impact (again with the jumping of the gun) then decided to give myself 50 with a wooden spatula Daddy made me buy specifically for spankings. Deciding to go with a 1-2 cha cha cha rhythm as it was easy to remember I started with a couple of awkward test strokes to get the force and angle (much harder then anticipated). When I was successful and surprised at the sting I could produce I put myself in the diaper position and began. I did not give myself enough credit for the amount of force I could create. The icy hot was completely unnecessary! By six strokes on one cheek, I was gasping and flinching and forcing myself to maintain force, I know Daddy won’t let me skimp if(and I mean if) this becomes a regular thing. There might be some negotiating/begging about this particular ‘new’ routine. A lot was embarrassment, the smacks seemed to ring out and echo of the walls and I was terrified my roommate could hear them (cringe, blush repeat x 1000)

I digress, by the 5thh swat on one cheek, I had to switch cheeks and my pattern seeking brain thought this was a good idea. Swat one cheek x5 and switch until I reach 50. The second cheek was a bit harder but I maintained force when I switched again the burn had set in and though I maintained force any thoughts of maintaining a rhythm were lost and I just gritted my teeth and willed myself not to drop the spatula. I finished but my ouchie bottom was burning and I sent myself to the corner to think about my impulsive behaviour, cause it definitely got me in the hot seat this time.

I will be fair and say Daddy had delivered much worse, but the self administering is very humbling and I think the emotions fluttering in my brain did a fair bit to amplify the pain. 1/2hr later my bottom is a little tender with the odd tender spot the humble feeling will prob outlast the colour in my bottom.

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Practice makes perfect.

So I decided to do my post with my inflatable plug inserted.  One of my rules is to keep practicing my bottom training.  I have been pretty busy lately, and haven’t had much of a chance.  Shhhhhh…(whispery voice) don’t tell Daddy.  Daddy has taken my body a few times, but my tender little whole still struggles with the entry part and I get frustrated and impatient.  I have naughty visions in my mind of Daddy firmly bending me over the most convenient piece of furniture, tugging down my clothes and entering me in one fast, hard and erotic thrust.  I imagine the feeling of fullness and the sparks of pleasure zinging straight to my dripping little clit and I get a little breathless.  And I do so enjoy the feeling of fullness, i’m lying on my belly and my hungry needy little bottom is clenching almost frantically around my inflatable plug.  That entry part though (insert pout and foot stomp) it is just the wrong side of ouchie.  I have a pretty high pain tolerance but at that one crucial point the pain flares up I lose my subby mindset and I worry about possible tearing, embarrassing doctor visit, awkward explanations etc. etc. etc. 

So where I wish I could accept fast and hard, I am currently at slow and gentle, there has been some notable progress, as I said it’s uh cough been a while, and previously when I have had long breaks between training, I have to build up with smaller plugs before grabbing my big guy. This time I bravely reached for the big guy first and though it took some mental self coaching and a snails pace I got it in without a smaller warm up.  Take the little victories I guess.

I am wondering if a long wear plug would help? A better schedule? Daddy doing some training/playing more (you know give the odd firm push at the boundaries instead of my hesitations). Any fellow anal enthusiasts out there who have met this challenge and overcome it have any tips? Definitely want to expand this part of our play but currently feeling like a sissy.

Reading, writing & reviews.


So, I just finished rereading one of the first DD/lg novels I ever bought.  Daddy’s Girl by Darla Phelps.  I really reccomend this book for anyone who likes a good amount of romance in their ageplay novels.  I read it when I was first exploring the dynamic and therefore was both thrilled and comforted to read a storyline of a fledging ‘little’ exploring a new relationship with her first Daddy.  I was easily able to identify with the emotions the characters portrayed and it had just as many awe moments as it did steamy spanking scenes.  Darla Phelps had a knack for creating (in my opinion) the perfect Daddy character with the right amount of nurturing, sense of humour and no nonsense I am the boss persona.  The ‘little’ girl riddled with insecurities blossoms in under his attention and care.  I personally like a healthy amount of nurturing within the dynamic so my heart was a flutter with every turn of the page.  Darla Phelps has also written some other noteworthy books

DeAkeny’s Bride- another ageplay novel, but set in historical times.  It was as well a good read with a Strong and stern Daddy and a no nonsense Nanny.  A bit more of a non con.  With the lifestyle being thrust upon the protagonist as apposed to a curious souls looking to experiment. Fills a darker more secret need of mine that pops up the odd time.

And Pets

This is actually two books that tell the same story.  One from the Tops point of view and one from the bottoms.  Again more of a noncon turned to ❤️.  This story crosses the universe and finds a human girl waking up on another planet where humans are kept as pampered and heavily disciplined pets of the Reigning society.  Again Darla Phelps paints a well constructed picture of the relationship developement and characters but again a little darker and had my little huffing with indignation at some of the(in my opinion) unwarranted spankings.  Did not stop me from reading though.  

In conclusion, Darla Phelps is definitely an author worth taking a chance on if your interest lies in the ageplay or spanking category with a bit of med fet thrown in.  She creates a world you can immerse yourself in.

Happy reading! I am always happy for book reccomendations as well.

In full pout mode

It had been a busy couple weeks, I been busy and Daddy has been busy, so we haven’t been in touch in forever.  My ‘little’ has won the battle and I am in full on pout mode with this developement.  Frankly, I don’t care if work is crazy and Daddy maybe in a no service zone.  My evil pouting fairy persona is in control and I am thinking naughty thoughts, consequences be darned!  I WANT DADDY TIME!

Overwhelmed

I am not sure if it is the transition from summer crazies to a more ‘stabilized’ (hear the irony) schedule, Or the attempt to play catch up, OR the fact that everyone I know seems to need something from me but I am feeling completely overwhelmed.   Needing a stress relief…something. Entering grumpy meltdown faze level 4.  

Role reversal

So I have been pondering about this for a while, because it was a completely new situation for me and it took me a while to fully decipher my reactions and emotions about it.  

About a month ago, I got together with Daddy, but this time I got to play Mommy.  My Daddy is a bit of a switch.  Definitely leans towards the Dominant most of the time, but had told me that he dabbled in being a ‘little’ himself before we met.  Up until our last get together he has always been Daddy in our relationship and I have always been his ‘little’ princess.  

Over the last few months though he had been mentioning his hankering to bring his ‘little’ guy out to play.  I can totally understand the need to release the ‘little’ even more then once and a while and I am always looking for an opportunity to please Daddy, but i have to admit I stalled when it came to making this particular scenario happen.  The reason?  Nerves!  I wasn’t exactly sure what kind of Mommy I would make.  In my Big life I am a natural caregiver and nurturing, but when if comes to channeling my inner disciplinarian and administering my first spanking, I was afraid I would fall short.

At the same time I was curious.  That is also in my nature, I try to live my life through empathy so I like to learn and experience new things so increase my understanding of all angles of life.  So I spent weeks with some pretty major yoyo emotions.  Should I? Shouldn’t I!  Will this change things? Will Daddy look at me different? If it  ain’t broke don’t fix it?  Finally I decided and I committed and it was agreed that the next time we came together I would be Mommy and he was gonna be my little boy getting a well deserved spanking.  His sin was distracted driving (that made my dicision a little easier).  

So, I drove him out to a little secret pocket of nowhere, giving him some scoldings to ponder during the drive.  I have to admit he makes an adorable nervous little.  When we reached our destination, I wasted little time in exposing his backside and putting him in the corner to reflect on the coming punishment while I garnered my courage.  Then the moment of truth came and I had him settled over my lap and things sort of fell into place, the spanks came naturally and the scolding seemed to flow out of my mouth like a Dominatrix had taken over my body.  I guess experiencing the flip side as often as I have and know my personal triggers and hotspots I was able to apply that in bringing out his own.  There was a slight moment of doubt where I asked him if he needed to safe word.  He later admitted that he had been right on the edge of safe wording so my instincts had been close.

The experience was definitely eye opening and I have to admit to a few thrills at the empowering position.  That being said, it solidified my preference of being in the ‘sub’, little’ role.  I prefer giving up control and letting Daddy lead me through a scene or punishment.  But I have a new respect for the care and attention Daddy takes to creating the atmosphere.  The role of the Dominant is more responsibilty then I thought.  I may Dabble every once and a while if Daddy needs a day to decompress again.

Tee hee!  My favorite part I have to admit was after we went for the Ice cream Daddy owed me and then Daddy decided we needed to take a little drive in our usual roles.  He was quite fervent innreasserting his dominance.  And like that Daddy was back! Yum.

Goin’ Camping

Well, it’s been a crazy couple weeks, once I finished my fun scavenger hunt, I completed two mud runs in one weekend phew. Now it’s time to hit the mountains and get some camping in. This time tomorrow my brain will be officially shut off. Just good food, some of my favourite peeps, some happy juice and an up for anything attitude.