Wrong Order of things

So, I have a tendency to be impulsive. Not overly impulsive but I will see or hear of something like a certain activity and it strikes my interest so much that before I have even tried it I start promoting it like it’s the best thing since sliced bread. I sometimes tell others about it like I am a tried and true veteran and attempt to gain support for this activity that in reality I have never actually tried before. To be fair, on MOST occasions, when I finally get around to participating in the activity I enjoy it. I am even pretty good at it and all my bluster is justified. So no harm no foul.

Then…there are sometimes I shoot my mouth off on my blog, about the possibilities and therapeutic benefits of self administered spankings for those long stretches between Daddy visits. I saw some info on it, it struck my interest because I was pouty at Daddy being away so long with work, and immediately thought it would be a good idea to post about how this could be a great activity in a blog Daddy knows about and monitors. Daddy wrote to me the other day and told me he missed me and was thinking about me and that he was soooooo proud of me for maintaining my blog. That he thought that the self spanking thing was a very good idea and that it would be beneficial as a scheduled maintenance practice when Daddy is away on long hauls. He said he was compiling and putting together some training programs for me that will be done soon and that will be a part of it. 

Yeah…so…never actually tried that whole self spanking and now it sounds like it is gonna be a fairly consistent occurrence for this little girl.

So this evening after work I mustered my courage and thought i would do a dry run of it before my new schedule is completed and Daddy exerts his dominance. I was nervous, a little excited and determined to prove this would be like so many other activities I have advocated for blindly to be enjoyable.

I bared my bottom and decided to apply a bit of icy hot to my cheeks to make up a bit for what I assumed would be less forceful impact (again with the jumping of the gun) then decided to give myself 50 with a wooden spatula Daddy made me buy specifically for spankings. Deciding to go with a 1-2 cha cha cha rhythm as it was easy to remember I started with a couple of awkward test strokes to get the force and angle (much harder then anticipated). When I was successful and surprised at the sting I could produce I put myself in the diaper position and began. I did not give myself enough credit for the amount of force I could create. The icy hot was completely unnecessary! By six strokes on one cheek, I was gasping and flinching and forcing myself to maintain force, I know Daddy won’t let me skimp if(and I mean if) this becomes a regular thing. There might be some negotiating/begging about this particular ‘new’ routine. A lot was embarrassment, the smacks seemed to ring out and echo of the walls and I was terrified my roommate could hear them (cringe, blush repeat x 1000)

I digress, by the 5thh swat on one cheek, I had to switch cheeks and my pattern seeking brain thought this was a good idea. Swat one cheek x5 and switch until I reach 50. The second cheek was a bit harder but I maintained force when I switched again the burn had set in and though I maintained force any thoughts of maintaining a rhythm were lost and I just gritted my teeth and willed myself not to drop the spatula. I finished but my ouchie bottom was burning and I sent myself to the corner to think about my impulsive behaviour, cause it definitely got me in the hot seat this time.

I will be fair and say Daddy had delivered much worse, but the self administering is very humbling and I think the emotions fluttering in my brain did a fair bit to amplify the pain. 1/2hr later my bottom is a little tender with the odd tender spot the humble feeling will prob outlast the colour in my bottom.

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Practice makes perfect.

So I decided to do my post with my inflatable plug inserted.  One of my rules is to keep practicing my bottom training.  I have been pretty busy lately, and haven’t had much of a chance.  Shhhhhh…(whispery voice) don’t tell Daddy.  Daddy has taken my body a few times, but my tender little whole still struggles with the entry part and I get frustrated and impatient.  I have naughty visions in my mind of Daddy firmly bending me over the most convenient piece of furniture, tugging down my clothes and entering me in one fast, hard and erotic thrust.  I imagine the feeling of fullness and the sparks of pleasure zinging straight to my dripping little clit and I get a little breathless.  And I do so enjoy the feeling of fullness, i’m lying on my belly and my hungry needy little bottom is clenching almost frantically around my inflatable plug.  That entry part though (insert pout and foot stomp) it is just the wrong side of ouchie.  I have a pretty high pain tolerance but at that one crucial point the pain flares up I lose my subby mindset and I worry about possible tearing, embarrassing doctor visit, awkward explanations etc. etc. etc. 

So where I wish I could accept fast and hard, I am currently at slow and gentle, there has been some notable progress, as I said it’s uh cough been a while, and previously when I have had long breaks between training, I have to build up with smaller plugs before grabbing my big guy. This time I bravely reached for the big guy first and though it took some mental self coaching and a snails pace I got it in without a smaller warm up.  Take the little victories I guess.

I am wondering if a long wear plug would help? A better schedule? Daddy doing some training/playing more (you know give the odd firm push at the boundaries instead of my hesitations). Any fellow anal enthusiasts out there who have met this challenge and overcome it have any tips? Definitely want to expand this part of our play but currently feeling like a sissy.

Reading, writing & reviews.


So, I just finished rereading one of the first DD/lg novels I ever bought.  Daddy’s Girl by Darla Phelps.  I really reccomend this book for anyone who likes a good amount of romance in their ageplay novels.  I read it when I was first exploring the dynamic and therefore was both thrilled and comforted to read a storyline of a fledging ‘little’ exploring a new relationship with her first Daddy.  I was easily able to identify with the emotions the characters portrayed and it had just as many awe moments as it did steamy spanking scenes.  Darla Phelps had a knack for creating (in my opinion) the perfect Daddy character with the right amount of nurturing, sense of humour and no nonsense I am the boss persona.  The ‘little’ girl riddled with insecurities blossoms in under his attention and care.  I personally like a healthy amount of nurturing within the dynamic so my heart was a flutter with every turn of the page.  Darla Phelps has also written some other noteworthy books

DeAkeny’s Bride- another ageplay novel, but set in historical times.  It was as well a good read with a Strong and stern Daddy and a no nonsense Nanny.  A bit more of a non con.  With the lifestyle being thrust upon the protagonist as apposed to a curious souls looking to experiment. Fills a darker more secret need of mine that pops up the odd time.

And Pets

This is actually two books that tell the same story.  One from the Tops point of view and one from the bottoms.  Again more of a noncon turned to ❤️.  This story crosses the universe and finds a human girl waking up on another planet where humans are kept as pampered and heavily disciplined pets of the Reigning society.  Again Darla Phelps paints a well constructed picture of the relationship developement and characters but again a little darker and had my little huffing with indignation at some of the(in my opinion) unwarranted spankings.  Did not stop me from reading though.  

In conclusion, Darla Phelps is definitely an author worth taking a chance on if your interest lies in the ageplay or spanking category with a bit of med fet thrown in.  She creates a world you can immerse yourself in.

Happy reading! I am always happy for book reccomendations as well.

In full pout mode

It had been a busy couple weeks, I been busy and Daddy has been busy, so we haven’t been in touch in forever.  My ‘little’ has won the battle and I am in full on pout mode with this developement.  Frankly, I don’t care if work is crazy and Daddy maybe in a no service zone.  My evil pouting fairy persona is in control and I am thinking naughty thoughts, consequences be darned!  I WANT DADDY TIME!

Overwhelmed

I am not sure if it is the transition from summer crazies to a more ‘stabilized’ (hear the irony) schedule, Or the attempt to play catch up, OR the fact that everyone I know seems to need something from me but I am feeling completely overwhelmed.   Needing a stress relief…something. Entering grumpy meltdown faze level 4.  

Goin’ Camping

Well, it’s been a crazy couple weeks, once I finished my fun scavenger hunt, I completed two mud runs in one weekend phew. Now it’s time to hit the mountains and get some camping in. This time tomorrow my brain will be officially shut off. Just good food, some of my favourite peeps, some happy juice and an up for anything attitude.

Busy week!

This has been and will continue to be a busy, silly, and super fun week. Signed up for a international scavenger hunt.  So far I have dressed like a chicken to safely escort people across the street. Am designing a wedding dress out of recycled office paper and danced with a parrot.  Much more to complete and I am giggling the whole way.  My ‘little’ had taken full reign.