Practice makes perfect.

So I decided to do my post with my inflatable plug inserted.  One of my rules is to keep practicing my bottom training.  I have been pretty busy lately, and haven’t had much of a chance.  Shhhhhh…(whispery voice) don’t tell Daddy.  Daddy has taken my body a few times, but my tender little whole still struggles with the entry part and I get frustrated and impatient.  I have naughty visions in my mind of Daddy firmly bending me over the most convenient piece of furniture, tugging down my clothes and entering me in one fast, hard and erotic thrust.  I imagine the feeling of fullness and the sparks of pleasure zinging straight to my dripping little clit and I get a little breathless.  And I do so enjoy the feeling of fullness, i’m lying on my belly and my hungry needy little bottom is clenching almost frantically around my inflatable plug.  That entry part though (insert pout and foot stomp) it is just the wrong side of ouchie.  I have a pretty high pain tolerance but at that one crucial point the pain flares up I lose my subby mindset and I worry about possible tearing, embarrassing doctor visit, awkward explanations etc. etc. etc. 

So where I wish I could accept fast and hard, I am currently at slow and gentle, there has been some notable progress, as I said it’s uh cough been a while, and previously when I have had long breaks between training, I have to build up with smaller plugs before grabbing my big guy. This time I bravely reached for the big guy first and though it took some mental self coaching and a snails pace I got it in without a smaller warm up.  Take the little victories I guess.

I am wondering if a long wear plug would help? A better schedule? Daddy doing some training/playing more (you know give the odd firm push at the boundaries instead of my hesitations). Any fellow anal enthusiasts out there who have met this challenge and overcome it have any tips? Definitely want to expand this part of our play but currently feeling like a sissy.

Daddy homework

So my cheeks are fire engine red right now, cause Daddy gave me one of his naughty blush making assignments. The first part of which is included in this post.  First Daddy gave me a friendly reminder to thank all of you who have viewed, followed and commented on my blog.  I am always thinking it but often forget to say it.  Daddy enjoys it when there are witnesses to some of our playtime antics as he knows it makes me blush redder then a tomato.  Despite the blushes I get a little tingly so I guess I like it a bit too, but don’t tell Daddy.  

He wants to be in complete control this week so…..humph I am on orgasm denial with a fair bit of teasing thrown in.  He has also denied me my panties for the week, which always makes me a little self conscious and exposed and ever so aware of my state of arousal.

Those are the constants through out the week, along with a midday “bathroom break” aka teasing session. Can’t have me not needy at any part of the day (pout). And every night this week I also have to spend 15 mins in the corner. State of dress naked, accessories my inflatable plug, chopsticks for my nips, and my paci to help me feel little and controlled.  I have to spend 15 mins with my nose down in the corner and my bottom in the air and I have to tease myself and think/talk about all the naughty things Daddy wants me to do and how it makes me feel.   Then I get to go to bed unfulfilled (foot stomp). Mean ol’ Daddy.

Tonight I had the added assignment of doing a photo shoot of my 5 positions sans clothing and with my plug and chopsticks. After a day of denial and teasing it was dangerous inserting the plug because this act of submission always makes libido skyrocket and being on edge the insertion alone nearly had me breaking the cardinal rule.  I resisted but the way my hips started rolling and bucking was completely instinctual and impossible to control.  Soon blushes took over as I assumed my positions, the hose from the inflatable plug swaying as I changed position.  My tender nips getting pinched and tweaked as I moved. The are super stingy and I still have my corner time to do.  But all said and done Daddy’s wicked ideas were effective as there were many blushes, and my kitty is sopping wet. Is it Monday yet?

Position 1

Position 2

Position 3

Position 4

Position 5

It’s been a week!

The last week has been a blur of activity. My hope that Daddy would keep the special assignments to a minimum during my denial punishment proved to be for naught. Daddy seems to be very well versed at this long distance thing. Every morning this naughty little one would receive an email from Daddy. First he would tell me how proud he was of following my instructions which made me swell with pride, then my stomach would fall while he continued on to outline my particular assignment for the day.The first day as I already outline started the ball of rolling with a full hour of teasing in my usual playtime ‘uniform’ as I have come to dub it. My nipples clipped and my bottom plug inserted. 

   
  And Daddy made the stipulation that no hands or toys could be used, so the embarrassment was pretty high as I resorted to grinding my pelvis against pillows or rolling my hips in desperate and extreme motions to try to bring myself the the edge. It was exhausting, embarrassing and in the end effective in setting my frustration level to the maximum. This set the tone of punishment as it got my juices flowing to the point of frenzy and ensured that I would be worked up from the lack of release. Contrition had set in and determination to follow Daddy’s instructions to show my repentance.

The second day Daddy again outlined how his babygirl would play. I was to get in my ‘uniform’ the. I had to go on a scavenger hunt (while suited up *BLUSH*). I had to find a toy to use in my kitty. Daddy wanted me to secure it to the floor so I could bounce up and down on it or the walk where I could work myself on it Doggy style. So nice when Daddy gives me choices. I blushed through out the day as images flashed through my head I the image I would present in the various positions. My poor kitty was throbbing from yesterday’s excercise and Daddy wanted me to take opportunities through out the day, to give the odd clandestine stroke or pat to maintain a maddening level of arousal. Driving was the toughest through out the week during in between times. My hips would roll and grind my seat almost of their own accord trying to find friction. By the time I reached playtime, I was worked up enough to follow his instructions without hesitation, but the foreknowledge that this would not end in release was devestating. Finding my ‘toy’ and rigging it up was quite a process and to have my plug in my bottom the whole time with the inflator bulb swinging between my legs brought the embarrassment level up. My nips had ached with the renewed pressure of the chopsticks and throbbed at every jostle. I was able to Macguyver up a floor rig securing my ‘toy’ ,a long slim candle, using a shoebox and some packing to secure it upright. Finally 45 mins in I was able to mount my self made saddle and start my 30 min timer. Daddy wanted some of my time bouncing vigorously so that my chopsticked titties danced around. I felt like such a spectacle and blushed furiously. Though I had been alone I closed my eyes in an intent to hide. It is harder to stop when you reach the edge when it isn’t a ‘simple’ matter of just removing your hand. While I rode my toy and reaching my climax neared, stopping the movement wasn’t enough and I wound up having to rise high on my knees to remove the stimulation. Again I ended my evening exhausted, cherry red from embarrassment, and wholly unsatisfied. Completely chastened.

Again in the morning. After reading my report, Daddy would send me a message telling me he was proud, stating his satisfaction that his assignments were having the desired effect and issuing my particular play schedule for the day. This time Daddy wanted his little girl to do cornertime before she played. He wanted her in her ‘uniform’ standing with her legs spread and straight and bent at the waist with her nose in the corner for 20 mins without fidgeting. The position was taxing physically and exposing to the point of whimpering embarrassment. In this little girl’s opinion completely impossible to accomplish without fidgeting. After corner time this babygirl had to get her wooden spoon and sit on the bed with her thighs spread wide and give hers naughty thighs a spanking with the spoon. 5 on each side if she didn’t fidget and 20 on each side if she did.  

  
So, yeah I got 20 on each side. At this point in the week this little one began to marvel at the power of Daddy’s invisible eye. There were so many points where she balked at the instructions, debated in her head why she would comply with no one there to witness the act. But knowing she would know she hadn’t complied at couldn’t keep it from Daddy. So wishing she could just fib and take the 5 swats for not fidgeting instead gave herself the 20 per thigh swats she deserved. Fighting with herself at each stinging swing. There were hesitation swings before the end, and a lot of lip biting and whimpers. When she was done she was able to set her timer and use the Ouchie spoon as her toy for playtime. This time when this little girl reached the edge she had to stop and spank her hungry and oh so needy kitty with the spoon 3 times before immediately continued to stimulate it with the spoon. It seems she had to administer a spanking more then she played as she had no time to rest and come down a bit before playing again. The pain from the swats though sharp and Ouchie did little to bank the fires. After the timer was done Daddy’s final wicked instruction was that she had to remove chopsticks from her screaming nips administer 3 hat swats and a a firm pinch and twist. The previous nights had been taxing both emotionally and physically. This added element of self inflicted pain was a little overwhelming. babygirl desperately wanted a cuddle from Daddy and went to bed in full pouty little mode clutching her dolly ‘Sparks’ for comfort.

The next morning Daddy responded with compassion and sent his pouty little girl and internet cuddle. Definitely doesn’t translate well. He then gave her a ray of light the promise that she could possible earn a climax the following day, if she stayed strong and followed his instructions for the day. The timing was perfect and the idea of a possible release had this babygirl eager to prove her mettle. By this point it was Thursday and this little one had bootcamp, which has been pretty taxing with the break over the holidays. Daddy decided to make this assignment an athletic venture. First before playtime, babygirl was was able to give her tender nips a break and as Daddy didn’t require her usual uniform. Instead Daddy had his little one use a pair of chopsticks on her kitty and spend 20 mins in the corner with them on. This little one was a little nervous as she was afraid of a sharp pinchy pain. She was relieved when she had put the chopsticks in place that it was just a sense of pressure. She got in the corner and set her mind not to fidget as fidgeting would mean another 20 mins. She soon found that the sensation in her kitty was a slow build. Soon the pressure turned to throbbing, then it escalated to a sharp ache. The natural response seemed to be to shift to alleviate the building sensation. Babygirl gritted her teeth and resolved to stay still through. The sensation had reached the point that as little time spent in this particular confinement was the goal. She was able to remain still for the 20 mins and was grateful to remove the chopsticks and move on to playtime. Which was gonna be a practice of balance. Babygirl was to balance on one foot with nothing to lean against and play with her kitty for 1/2 hr.

  

 If her balance broke or she reached the edge, she was to switch feet find her balance and immediately start playing again. This is challenging enough, but after spending an hr earlier in the evening doing squats lunges and other various excersizes this little ones legs were already halfway to jelly. The first few minutes were a battle for balance she seemed to have to change feet every few seconds. She then found her stride and though she felt the singing in her legs and glutes she was able to start playing in earnest. She was actually quite proud of her feat as she balanced and posed and stretched as she tried to reach culmination. Boy was it frustrating after all the effort to reach it that all she was allowed to do was stop and switch feet and start again. She imagined Daddy’s pride though and the promise of a cummy tomorrow if she succeeded. She completed playtime and the tone of her report was a little more smug this time as she recounted her compliance. She went to sleep frustrated but with anticipation for Daddy’s reward. I woke up in the morning and eagerly awaited Daddy’s response anticipation my prime emotion. I was in town about my day when Daddy’s response came. Daddy’s words soon had the effect of drumming up nerves, panic, blushes, longing and a full fit of pouts. I reviewed in my mind Daddy’s last message in my head that I interpreted as promising an orgasm if I fulfilled my last assignment. The wording had been I would get the opportunity to EARN an orgasm with the completion of my last assignment. And earn it I would as wicked meany Daddy outlined my jobs for the Day.

Daddy first outlined he wanted me in one of my little hairdos of some variety of piggy tails. 

  
 It always puts me in a more compliant mindset and makes me feel a bit more conspicuous but thrilled when in public. Then he outlined the items I was to collect. When I saw the ginger root my stomach dropped in dread as I have read extensively in figging and though I was intrigued and curious a clumsy solo attempt at experimentation had me writing of the activity off as something that in my case would have to be Dom controlled, with his presence, authority, even some restraints. But Daddy was unaware of my previous attempt and outlined his instructions on how to prepare it and insert it and….hold it as I went on another shopping trip, this shopping trip was to look for a wooden implement to be used on my naughty bottom. I was to search for one I thought would make an impression, select it and buy just that one single item with no other purchases to divert attention. After purchasing the implement I would be able to return home. Have a potty accident in my jeans (Daddy knows this is always an embarrassing struggle for me and therefore, if completed demonstrates my level of submission.) and spend a 1/2 hr in the corner with the fig in my bottom and my wet jeans on but completely topless holding my new spanking implement. 

   
    
  
  After my humiliating and uncomfortable time in the corner, where Daddy really wanted me to think about my punishments, what put me in this predicament and what was yet to come; I was to thank Daddy for putting me in the corner and to apologize for being lax in my journal entries. Then I would be allowed to remove my wet jeans and get on the bed in position 2. My chest down, bottom high and legs spread wide. I was to tease myself for my usual 1/2 hour playing with my nipples and stroking my kitty. AFTER all of that I would be allowed to cum. Daddy instructed me to switch to my dominant hand for my kitty strokes and suck the thumb of my other hand during my cummy time. Daddy wanted me to cum three times without stopping or slowing in between orgasms…more if I could but no less then three. That was my assignment. And I filled with dread when I realized I couldn’t do it. The ginger scared me and the amount of retention time was worrisome. There was the desire to comply but I…just couldn’t. With a heavy heart, I responded to Daddy’s email addressing my reservations. I was heartbroken to have cried uncle and frustrated that I have let an opportunity to cum slip by. Daddy’s response was understanding and open for negotiation. My spirits lifted when I once again realized Daddy’s ability to bend and adapt to my needs and limits. I just need to remember to use my words, which is how this whole thing started, I got overwhelmed in my big life, and instead of getting Daddy’s permission to lighten my ‘little’ load I put it all on me to do my best instead of admitting what I saw as a failing. My lesson has been learned. 

My email was all it took to open a dialogue and between me and Daddy we found a satisfactory alternative to the ginger. I wanted to push my luck and address my potty accident stipulation, but I decided to pick my battles. So the evening had me picking up my supplies and venturing with a fluttering belly to make my implement purchase. I was embarrassed and felt conspicuous, I was certain that everybody I came across knew what the wooden spatula I chose was really gonna be used for. I was grateful to get home, but it took a lot of pacing another 1/2 bottle water and a self pep talk to complete my potty excersize. My wet jeans made my cornertime especially humbling but I was able to focus my thoughts and once again, despite my nerves and embarrassment, settle into my submission when I thanked my Daddy for putting me in the corner and apologized for my indescretion I felt that delightful feeling of weight lifting of my shoulders. My teasing session was taxing but more for the fact that it marked the final step before my reward. The reward…was surprising as though there was release it did make a fairly spectacular final punishment. The first cum when it came was explosive and had me gasping, but it set my nerve endings to hypersensitive, not being able to slow or stop soon felt like I was rubbing sandpaper over my sensitive spots the next to cummys were a battle to reach and the entire time I was on the knife edge of pleasure/pain. In the end was it satisfying? Enough that I passed out before I could tidy up or even change position. I woke up in the wee hours of the morning still sprawled my belly. Daddy controlled this naughty little girl well.

  

Soooo Needy!

  
Daddy REALLY does own my orgasms.
This epiphany hit me, recently. We have always had a sporadic play schedule with stretches of time passing between play dates. Currently we have gone looooonnnnngggggeeeesssstttt time between play dates since we started. When we are together Daddy’s control and influence is absolute and this little one experiences the most intense sensations that send little aftershocks and tingles of pleasure through me for hours sometimes days after. I find such pleasure and freedom in my submission to him, especially as I feel that my pleasure gives him pleasure.

Then we part ways until the next time. sometimes Daddy gives me assignments. These assignments usually make me blush, they get the butterflies fluttering away in my belly and despite the fact that he isn’t there I feel his control. That instinctual need to submit to his will. And despite the blushes, the anxiety over pushing some limit, or the possible pouts over a particular detail Daddy has demanded that he knows will make me fidget with embarrassment, I feel the desire build, the need for release. Release is always granted, though not always timely ( Daddy does like to test his little one’s control now and then) and it is always satisfying. Not quite as much as if Daddy was there bringing me to completion himself, but that connection and again the fact that it is by his instruction and for his pleasure i find that freedom to enjoy the granted release. Then there are the times that this little one is left to her own devices. Daddy has not restricted my orgasms or solo playtime. As long as I always follow the rule to use my words and ask Daddy for permission and announce my cums. Now, I am not gonna lie, I am very experienced with solo play and self gratification. It was my primary form of release before meeting Daddy, so I have had a lot of practice and though rarely mind blowing, it has always done the trick. Until recently that is. During this prolonged absence of play time I have experienced yearnings, had the usual naughty thoughts and I have played with myself and various toys. So the usual. What I have been finding unusual is it just isn’t doing the trick. At least not like it used to. The libido isn’t effected, I still feel the build, the touches and the toys have me writhing and gasping by the time I ask for my release and then…phht. It is a release of sorts, but with all of the energy and intensity it would take to blow out a candle. It is sooooo frustrating. Usually it is only a matter of maybe an hour before I am worked up and hungry again. The result is I am perpetually horny and the only true release I have is when Daddy actually (not assumed) allows it.  

That is when I realized it. I have unconsciously given up my orgasms to Daddy. I no longer control my release. It’s a little disconcerting, as it kinda snuck up on me. I mean it was always pleasantly kinky to give up my control to Daddy when we got together but secure in the knowledge that I still had control when I was alone. Now there is an invisible hand staying me, reminding me that my will joined with another’s. Also that added feeling of dependence is a foreign sensation to me that I find myself rebelling against. Though I like to give up control to satisfy that submissive in me, I have always been that person who can manage on her own if needed. That no longer seems to be the case. I am not so much concerned about the increase I Daddy’s influence and control, but more my own neediness to it. What if I become too needy? The questions have started to swirl in my head, my instinct to tuck tail and run warring with my curiosity to explore this new level of the dynamic. Then how to ask for more while not becoming too demanding. Or maybe I am just over thinking? Maybe I just need another mind blowing play date to recharge the batteries. Have any if you experienced that ah ha moment where you realized you reached another level in your submission?

Playtime for Daddy

Playtime for Daddy

  

Daddy and I have not had a chance to see each other for a loooooooonnnnnnggggg stretch this time. We just seem to have conflicting schedules. So to tide this greedy little one over, Daddy gave me a few tasks to accomplish. I got an immediate thrill in my belly when I got the email outlining Daddy’s instructions for me. He hit all the buttons. I was thrilled, a little apprehensive, full of blushes and undeniably aroused. Then I got sick (super pouty and angry face inserted here). My tasks got shelved for a bit. But I am pretty much back toy old self.

So my first task was a couple of videos for Daddy. I had to do two. One was just for Daddy (phew)…the other was for my xhamster account (gulp). I have long since admitted to myself that I do have a bit of an exhibitionist in me, so I get that thrill but at the same time opening myself to public opinion is always a little nerve racking.  

Daddy’s video had a little bit of everything. He wanted me to film my little time one evening. This has become quite natural for me now, even if it is only for that 15 mins some days, my little comes out quite easily now and I have embraced her whims so there was little challenge here except for remembering to speak up a bit. Then Daddy wanted to see me in corner time, which I was a little pouty about, cause I have been a good girl! After corner time Daddy wanted me to play like a big girl. It was mostly fun doing the private clip for Daddy, it was something just the two of us shared and I felt a connection with Daddy despite the fact we are so far away.  

The next clip was another grown up play session. I was to strip down and describe my body both through my eyes and Daddy’s eyes why Daddy liked that part of me and how Daddy liked me to present it. Then I had to bring out my toys. Then with my nipples clipped, my bottom plugged and my kitty teased with various items I had to play and cum for the camera 3 times. I was of course allowed to keep my face out of the shot, but I still felt so exposed. It was a little off putting talking about my body as well because I still have some body issues, so highlight and exposing myself bit by bit was a little discomforting. By the time I got to my play though I was wet and sooo close to the edge. My cummies came fast and hard, so my body obviously was more into it the my conscious mind.

Then my final task was I was to start really looking around on fetlife. Check out some of the discussion groups that focus on our tastes, see who was out there, what was going on. Daddy wants me to start playing with the idea of having some little friends. This is kinda scary, I am fairly shy initially. I get the benefits, having friends who have the same interests can be a good support system and can expand the dynamic, also people who are in the dynamic don’t require as much of a filter. I don’t share this side of myself with ‘muggles’ as Daddy would put it. Daddy said I just had to look right now, see what was around and see if anything or anyone popped out at me in the interest. There are a few groups in my general area but they aren’t overly active, so that was the first hurdle. I kinda felt alone. I have gotten more adept at navigating the sight, and have come across some interesting things in the searches. Daddy wants me to look for 1/2 hr a day for a week. I am to email him what I found, how it made me feel and send him links to the pages that interest me.

So I am still researching my naughty interests and searching for some local littles, though I do appreciate the connections I have made here on wordpress.  But my video assignment is done. Below is a link Daddy.

Task #2

Am I feeling Ouchies or Yummies? Let’s go with both

   
   
Am I feeling Ouchies or Yummies? Let’s say both!
Yup! Daddy and I were able to connect last night. So, I am sitting on a throbby and stingy bottom after my very first switching. Switches have quite the nasty whippy sting! I mean no heavy impact, but these intense lines of fire! And the way that wicked switch seems to wrap around your bottom! My hips and outer thighs even got marks. This little one certainly danced for Daddy, it was impossible to stay still for this punishment.
When Daddy and I met up the first thing he did after a greeting cuddle was bundle me in the backseat of his truck. He put me right into my little, buckling my seatbelt and putting a soother in my mouth. Sparks came along for the ride and after I had put my hair in piggy tails was cuddled in my arms as Daddy drove us to our destination, a secret spot he found on the country for my first switching, that was also to be administered outside! Gulp! That was definitely a lot to process.  
Admittedly a fantasy of mine was to have an outdoor spanking, the imminent reality of receiving one had the butterflies in my belly hitting overdrive. I spent the latter part of the drive grilling Daddy about just how secret this secret spot was, was there even the tiniest chance of being discovered? Daddy I could tell was both amused and patient as he assured me that though I would be outside it would be just us. Sitting beside me on the backseat was a small, but heavy paddle which Daddy intended to use during my warm up. I could barely take my eyes off of it as we finally reached our destination. Daddy had me wait in the car as he set up his Daddy chair. When he opened my door and unbuckled my belt, I tried to think of any reason to stall, this failed so once I was out of the truck I dragged my feet, Daddy just tugged me along. Then I was standing between Daddy’s legs for the ‘talk’ about why I earned my punishment and the sulking began. This was new for me. Usually when I earn a punishment I fret over it, I apologize for it and I USUALLY agree to it without much fuss despite my worries. This time there was definite resistance. Not to the need for it. I acknowledge I broke a rule and needed to be punished, it was just so hard to submit to it. I couldn’t even look Daddy in the eye, I was too busy scanning the area, trying to assure myself it was secure. Finally Daddy had my focus, we had our ‘talk’ though my responses remained sullen. Then there I was standing in our pocket of the great outdoors with my pants and panties lowered to rest at my ankles. BUTTERFLIES! Then I was over Daddy’s lap and getting a good warm up first with his hand then the nasty paddle. That certainly packed a wallop, I could tell Daddy was barely using his strength with it but it certainly brought the heat! I was 98% focused on my bottom nearly forgetting about our open setting when I heard a noise! Certain we were found I immediately went rigid and exclaimed ‘what was that?” Thankfully it was just the sounds of nature, and Daddy was quick to refocus me with a few more applications of the paddle. He later told me how amused he was at how one second I was whimpering and squirming on his lap then the next I was stiff and alert scanning the area like a bunny sensing a predator.
After my warm up, I felt even more exposed as Daddy had me stand again with my now red bottom exposed with my hands on my head as he went to cut his switch. The cool evening air made me aware of the achey warmth in my bottom and I was sure the red of it was shining like a beacon. I was to remain like that as Daddy prepared the switch and showed me how I was to properly prepare one. He instructed me to remove my sweat shirt as he was finishing which I did gratefully and immediately tied around my waist. He was still focused on his task and didn’t notice right away as he asked me if I wanted to cut my switch then, or after he used his. I contemplated my options. Get the double switching over with on one swoop or have Daddy tenderise my bottom then have a break while I cut my own. I really wasn’t sure what was worse? My hesitation had Daddy looking at me, and when he saw my sweater tied around my waist his exasperation showed briefly as he decided for me immediately, bending me over the chair and applying his freshly made switch across my bottom. At that point my surroundings ceased to exist. All I was aware of was the fire of each stroke. I danced on my toes and yelped and pleaded and regretted every bit of sass and sullenness I had exhibited. Daddy finally had my full attention and focus. When the strokes finally stopped my hands flew to my bottom, the heat and the raised welts had me gasping with dismay. I still had to present my own switch and offer up my bottom for another session. Daddy directed me to the bushes and coached me through proper selection. As time went by I again became aware and anxious that my naked bottom was on display, but I was more subdued in my complaints and just tried to hurry the process along. When the switch was selected Daddy had me sit to clean it ( ouch). It was harder then I thought, but I didn’t want to do a poor job of it and leave little pokies that could dig into my bottom. Then again he bent me over the chair, knowing how the switch would feel, did not lessen my anxiety this time and I was so grateful when the second switching ended. Finally I was where I wanted to be bundled albeit gingerly on Daddy’s lap getting my forgiveness cuddles. I was sure to inform Daddy my marshmallows had been thoroughly roasted.  
After my punishment I was hoping to return to the security of the truck for more enjoyable endeavours, Daddy’s hands began to wander though while I still sat in his lap, he brought my blushes back full force as he discovered and announced how wet I was. I am STILL trying to understand how I can be so Ouchie but still so hot, not exactly complaining don’t get me wrong but I still can’t connect those dots. Daddy decided that I could only retreat to the relative security of the truck when I had cum from his fingers. Though I was horny as hell, my anxiety about the open setting had me worried that I might not reach my pleasure. Daddy is very skilled though, so quicker then I imagined he was bundling me back in the truck for special kisses and other play. I am so grateful to have a Daddy that is so attentive and concerned about my pleasure, I lost count of the number of times Daddy brought me over the edge, until I was limp and partially delirious. I also feel a certain amount of pride when I can make Daddy lose control with my mouth and hands and hear his gasps and groans or feel his body tense up. Afterwards we cuddled and he told me how proud he was of me, at which I blushed and beamed. He chuckled with with proud amusement again when he recalled me attempting to ask for permission to cum from his fingers even with his cock deep in my mouth ( he decided I do not have to ask for permission if my mouth is ‘occupied’). He proudly checked out the marks that he left on my bottom and traced his fingers lightly over some of the welts. This had me shivering with a full mix of emotions. Pride, arousal, being cherished. I always enjoy my ‘after’ time with Daddy as it feels like we are the only ones in the entire universal for a small pocket of time.
When I returned home, I immediately undressed and examined my punished bottom, fascinated by the colours and lines. Again pride swelled in me and a sense of comfort that I would bear the marks and the stingy discomfort for a few days at least. Sometimes I feel frustrated that I don’t mark easily, it feels like the evidence left behind doesn’t correctly display the punishment received.

Reading, writing and reviews pt 2

 

 

A continuation of my personal choice recommendations for some good reading about DD/lg and other bdsm play. This time I am going to focus on the some of the Authors that hold top spot in my ereader, as I am on vacation and it always comes with me.
First is Korey Mae Johnson:
Her ageplay novel “Being their Baby”. Was one of the first novels I read in this genre and still stands as one of my favorites. She has a flair for well placed humour within the storyline as does quite a good job at developing her characters and there is a legitimate plot-line that keeps the attention, instead of having the reading skimming through for the steamy bits (come on you know you do it.). 
A very brief run down. A young woman who had to grow up before her time in less then stellar circumstances is invited to explore a relationship where she not only has a ‘Mommy’ but a ‘Daddy’ and an ‘Uncle’ all willing to give her the childhood she missed complete with all love, nurturing and discipline she needs.
The novels protagonist experiences some steamy spanking and ‘playtime’ with three different partners in various scenarios.
I really enjoyed the relationships she develops with everyone and the general dynamic of the household. 
This is Korey’s only ageplay title that I am aware, though I wish she would write more. Another title of hers I could reccomend would be ‘Shared between them’ it’s a good ménage spanking romance.  
 

My mind has been Pondering

  
Something to contemplate
So Daddy and I were talking the other day. A lot of bantering and joking about this and that. Then Daddy broached a subject that I am aware of but have no experience with as of yet. He brought up ‘switching’. I do know that Daddy definitely has been in the game longer then me and he had even told me that once upon a time he experimented with being ‘little’. Now being a huge fan of ‘littledom’ myself I totally understand the draw of this side of the dynamic, sometimes I wonder who WOULDN’T want to be ‘little’. He also told me that he’s definitely more Daddy then little, but there are some aspects of being on the other side he misses.  

So this conversation left me contemplating the other side of the fence. Ever since I started actually practicing in the ageplay dynamic, my curiosity has only grown. I have tested and surpassed what only a year ago I would have considered some hard limits. Through all of it I have identified as a little. I have always identified with the sub role during play. It is a natural inclination. Which is funny because, I am in a position of authority at work and within my circle of family and friends I am the go to problem solver/ decision maker. So being a submissive in the relationship seems to be more of a choice for me as apposed to predisposed towards it. But the draw is there despite its origins.

Then I started playing with scenario’s in my head where I was the Mommy and Daddy was my little ‘rascal’. Many images popped in my head of he and I playing with Lego, or kissing a booboo on his knee after he fell and scraped it. Singing lullabies and cuddling him at nap time. I was actually quite easy to identify as a Mommy when imagining the nurturing side of things. I could even imagine my initial reactions of exasperated amusement as I came upon evidence of mischief or rebellion. One thing I had a difficult time visualizing was me in the role of disciplinarian. I can not picture myself doling out punishment. I’m not sure if it is just the fact that I have absolutely no point of reference when it comes to giving a spanking or just my soft heart. When me and Daddy had talked, my mind instantly started tossing the idea around weighing benefits with challenges and worrying over details. The reason you ask? Well, I want to make my Daddy happy of course. He had already opened up my world and given me so many wonderful first experiences and taken care of my ‘little’ girl needs. I WANT to do something for him now and then. I also want to do it right. If Daddy took a turn as a ‘little’ Rascal now and then, then he deserves the best Mommy I can provide him. Part of which, means a Mommy that can dole out a much needed spanking now and then. So now I am researching spankings from the other side of the fence trying to absorb the role of the disciplinarian. I have found that there are some definite draws and the tingles start to come upon me as I imagine a vulnerable bottoms over my lap, bit the insecurities are still there. Almost like stage fright. Anybody have any ideas of how to combat stage fright when taking on a different role in play?

Storytime continued

Babygirl earns a punishment parts 2 & 3

So here’s the second and third parts of my story.  It is actually a four part story oops!  But as promised you will get it in 3 instalments.  

Babygirl sat on Daddy’s lap head bowed biting her lip, she absently played with one of the buttons on his shirt, trying to figure out what to say. Daddy’s hands now rested on her hips and though she couldn’t look up she felt his gaze resting intently on her. She had his undevided attention, but at the moment that was the last thing she wanted. Knowing that anything she said was going to make him disappointed made her stomach do flip flops and suddenly she felt tears build up behind her eyes. She hated disappointing Daddy. And after he was so kind and had put together such a nice surprise.

Realizing His Baby girl wasn’t going to answer, Daddy repeated himself adding a hint of warning into his tone. “What paperwork Babygirl?”

There was a bit of a pause before Babygirl cleared her throat uncomfortably, “Um, well at the end of the month, I have to turn in all my log notes and expense sheets” Babygirl began quietly,”that sort of thing. Anyways I am a bit behind. I was gonna catch up this weekend.”

Hoping that was all the explanation he needed, she fell silent and continued looking down, fingers still worrying away at the button on his shirtfront. Suddenly she felt his big hand cup her chin and gently, but firmly lifted her face so she was looking at him. “When is this paperwork due Babygirl?” He asked calmly.

She really didn’t want to look at him, didn’t want to see the disappointment when she answered.  

“Monday.” She whispered.

She saw Daddy’s jaw tighten a bit and her bottom clenched instictively.

“And how behind” his voice stressed the word behind significantly, “are you little one?”

This was it, the moment of truth. Babygirl new this was one of the rules. She had told Daddy she was horrible when it came to leaving things to the last minute, she had explained to him how she hated it because, she would scramble around trying to get things done and it would stress her out and she was never happy with the work she did as it was so hurried to make deadline. Daddy had agreed it was a bad habit and not in his Babygirl’s best interest. He promised to help her, keep her motivated and provide some bare bottom incentive if required to keep her on track. Now she had just admitted that she had fallen into old habits.

“I’m sorry Daddy.” She said pleadingly.

“That wasn’t an answer little girl” he growled with warning.

She gulped.

“I, uh, haven’t started.”

Daddy closed his eyes and exhaled heavily through his nose. When he opened them again there it was. Not anger, not even annoyance, but disappointment. Her stomach fell. She felt horrible. She threw her arms back around his neck and sobbed.  

“We’ve talked about this baby”. Daddy says quietly though he once again smoothed his his hand up and down the length of her spine soothingly.

“I know Daddy!” She sniffled

“Do you think you did your best?” He asked, she hated this part. The part where he made her face her actions and evaluate them. She shook her head in the negative against his neck. Instantly she felt a sharp smack to the right cheek of her bottom.

“Use your words naughty girl.”

“No Daddy!” She instantly replied jumping from the swat, though it startled more then stung. “I was a lazy little girl and I feel horrible!”

He sighed, “do you want Daddy’s help to fix this?” Daddy asked coaxingly, ” make his Babygirl feel better?”

“Yes Daddy,” she sniffled, 

“Here’s what we are gonna do.” Daddy said, “Daddy’s gonna give this naughty little bottom a little reminder of what happens when little girls shirk their work. Then baby girl is gonna sit on that hot freshly spanked bottom and she is going to start and finish all that nasty paperwork until it is all done.”

“But, daddy!” Babygirl gasped “what about our weekend?”

“Good girls who get there work done get to go on adventures-”

“But, Daddy! We don’t get a chance like this often!” Babygirl said in a panic shoving herself off Daddy’s lap and to her feet.” I deserve a spanking-”

“You certainly do!” Daddy’s voice cracked like a whip, his brow drawn over his eyes in a straight line. Babygirl gulped. What had gotten into her. “And a lot more besides. Little girls do not tell there Daddy’s but! And they certainly don’t tell there Daddy’s what to do. Whose in charge Babygirl?”

“Daddy is,” Babygirl immediately answered, shocked at her own rebellion.  

“That’s right!” Daddy confirmed. “Daddy is in charge because Daddy knows how to keep his Babygirl, happy, safe and the best she can be. Now you earned a punishment, by your own actions, and Daddy is punishing you not to be mean, but to help you become a better person. Baby girl asked daddy to help her didn’t she?”

Babygirl nodded

“Little one, you do not want to make this worse.” Daddy said “answer the question”

“Yes Sir.”

“Now before my naughty girl decided to be even naughtier, I was going to say that she would finish her work tonight so that we could enjoy the rest of the weekend as planned without the worry of work not done looming over us. Now that is if I don’t have to spend weekend correcting my little girl’s behaviour.”  

All she could do was bow her head in shame at her preemptive freak out. Daddy let her stew for a minute.

“Now, since there seems to be a naughty imp inside my girl making her speak out of turn, I think we will start things out with a nice little flush out. Daddy bought his little girl some enema equipment, I am sad that we have to christen it with a punishment, but at least by the end of the weekend you will know its diversity. You will receive a warm soapy enema, then daddy is gonna insert a plug and you will have some corner time while the solution does it’s job. THAT is for speaking out of turn. Then you are going to place yourself over my lap and get a good, hard, motivational spanking that you feel every second that you sit bare bottomed at the kitchen table while you do what could have just as easily been done through out the month. What do you say to that Babygirl?”

“Yes Daddy”

“Is Daddy being mean?”

“No Daddy.”

“Why is Daddy doing this?”

“To help me Daddy.”

“Do you trust me to help you little one”. This question was spoken a little less firmly. A soothing note returned to Daddy’s tone.

“Yes Daddy,” Babygirl said in a shaky yet grateful voice. Daddy always made the bad feelings go away, he was firm and strict, but even after a blistering spanking she always came away from it feeling better inside. Because he cared. Why had she forgotten that? “with all my heart, daddy”

“There’s my good girl.” Daddy said approvingly,”when you are ready, you may ask for your punishment and we will begin.”

Babygirl took a bolstering breath and bowed her head. “Daddy, I was a bad girl. I didn’t divmy work when I should have and then I back talked to you when you were trying to help me. Please, punish my naughty bottom And help me to be your good girl again?”

“Good girl,” Daddy replied,”of course I will help you! Daddy will always be there to help his little girl be the best she can be. Now I want you to lower your panties to your knees and tuck the back of your skirt into its waist band.”

With shaking hands Babygirl lowered her panties and then tucked up her skirt. Immediately she felt the air caress her bare bottom cheeks. 

“Now I want you to walk to the end of the sofa and bend yourself over the arm. Feet shoulder width apart and your little toes pointed in”

Again she complied, once in position she FELT how the position exposed her naughty bits. She blushed and bit her lip and waited. Daddy just stood there for a moment, not a word was said. She felt herself slipping more into his control.

“Stay in position, Daddy’s going to go fix your enema.”

With that Daddy picked up his duffel and disappeared Into the bathroom down the hall.

Babygirl did the only thing she could do she waited.
Part 3

Daddy was taking forever in the bathroom, what was he doing? It couldn’t take that long to fill a bag with water…and soap. Her bottom clenched in trepidation and her stomach started to churn. How much soap would he put in there?! What would it feel like? Daddy and Babygirl had talked about enema play in all it’s many facets. She had told him a bit about her desire to explore this type of power exchange, though she had blushed the entire time. She had read extensively on the subject both informational and her naughty story stash. She had even made a clumsy attempt at administering a solo enema, though she had felt awkward the entire time. No she had wanted Daddy to take the reigns on this one. She hadn’t envisioned her first one to be of the punishment variety, from her readings they could be quite unpleasant in the hands of a more devious master. She took a deep shaky breath, don’t think about that. She trusted Daddy, he might help her test and stretch her limits but he always respected them, he wouldn’t give her more than she could take, at the same time she had a feeling she was going to walk away from this experience with a more chastened attitude. Where was he? she strained her ears, trying to detected movement, the faucet running, anything really. Her skin had broken out in a nervous sweat, made evident but her belly sticking to the cool leather of the sofa she was bent so lewdly over. This position was so exposing her bare bottom the highest point, the cheeks spread naturally open by her widened stance and turned feet. The room felt chilly, almost as though a cool breeze was blowing against her little crinkle. Her face scrunched in consternation and buried her face in the cushion in front of her. Breath just breath.  

Her head popped up at the sound of the bathroom door opening. Daddy’s footsteps could be heard walking down the hall. No words were spoken as he stopped by her. In between her bottom and the wall the sofa was situated against. He reached up and seemed to fiddle with something, babygirl’s eyes scrunched in confusion? He finally brought his hand down and revealed a tiny hook now planted in the wall. He glanced down at her and saw her watching and surprisingly he winked at her with a mischievous grin. 

“Baby girls naughty hook” he quipped with a smile. Baby girl blushed but also felt a bit more at ease with Daddy’s almost playful attitude. She was still Daddy’s baby. Her relief quickly turned to panic when Daddy raised his other hand that had been out of view. The enema bag that Daddy was now hanging on her ‘naughty’ hook seemed pretty full. She gulped as her eyes travelled from the bulging red bag to the slim hose that ended off in a long plastic nozzle that flared out at the end and had holes along the sides. Daddy finished hanging the bag and looked down again and gave her bottom a light pat.

“I’ll be right back naughty bottom”

Baby girl barely heard him her eyes still transfixed on the bag now hanging on the wall. This time he was right back returning with a fluffy towel rolled up and walked to the coffee table on the other side of Babygirl. She tore her eyes away from the bag and turned to watch Daddy as he unrolled the towel and began placing items on the coffee table once they were revealed. Lube, rubber gloves, and a bottom plug, this plug was new, it was pink and started off slim before widening slightly and then once again getting slim, very slim right before the base. It was bigger then anything else Daddy had introduced into her bottom so far but not dramatically so. Daddy finished placing the items then still kneeling beside her turned to look at her. At this level there eyes met head on. He must have seen the fear on her face because he reached out and rubbed a thumb along her cheekbone before gently tapping her chin.

“How you doin’ little one?” daddy asked compassionately.

Babygirl’s chin wobbled a bit but she answered truthfully, “I am a little scared Daddy”

“That’s part of it Babygirl. This is punishment.” He responded a little more firmly but continued easing her fears slightly. “I know this is your first time, and usually I like to have at least one nice sensual enema session with my good little girl before doing one of these, so I took it a little easier on you. I think it is enough to get a good strong point across but I want you to remember, all through this process it could be MORE. All of it, I am giving you a quart of warm soapy water, you will be plugged and sent to the corner to retain it for 15 minutes. It is gonna be uncomfortable and you are gonna be very aware of your bottom and what the liquid is doing to your insides. You are gonna have to be brave, but I want you to feel what it is doing inside you and imagine 2 quarts of water, imagine a stingy reaally crampy solution, or cooler water so the cramps are constant. Imagine having to hold it for longer…without the help of a plug to keep it all in. That is what a punishment enema could be. On the other hand done right, an enema for good little girls can be nice and soothing leaving my Babygirl nice and relaxed. They are a very versatile tool, but remember Daddy prefers to use them to make his little one feel good. Try not to make me show you how nasty they can be.”

Babygirl gulped as she took in his words and looked into his eyes and saw the residual regret and disappointment in his eyes. He really regretted having to do it this way.  

“I trust you Daddy,” Babygirl choked out, “I am sorry I disappointed you Daddy, please give me my bad girl enema.”

Daddy once again stroked babygirl’s cheek and said “Good girl.” and then proceeded to put on the rubber gloves. He stood up and grabbed up the towel, “stand up a second little one”

Once she complied he lay the fluffy towel over the arm of the sofa, “just in case my baby makes a mess.”

Those words sent embarrassment and fear through her once again but went easily when Daddy repositioned her back over the arm of the sofa.

“Now reach back and open those cheeks nice and wide so Daddy can lube you up to take the nozzle.”

Baby girl again followed his instructions. She felt his finger dab a healthy amount of lube directly on her tiny hole and circle her little crinkle gently. “Deep breath baby girl…and slowly let it out”

As Babygirl exhaled she felt Daddy’s finger invade her hind end. Not rough, but firm and insistant not stopping until he was buried to the knuckle. Then he stopped allowing her to adjust. Then he started to move.  

Daddy spent a few horribly embarrassing minutes preparing her bottom, making little comments that set her cheeks to blushing and off handedly mentioning that some Daddy’s use Vicks vapo rub as lube when they want to get a point across. This comment caused her to clench, earning her a warning slap on her bottom. He finally deemed her bottom ready for the main event and Babygirl felt the flared head of the nozzle against her entrance, it was inserted and seated and then She heard a muffled click and daddy said “here comes the water little one”

She felt it almost immediately, not painful, just an odd feeling as warmth spread from her bottom and into her belly. This continued for a minute and Babygirl breathed a sigh of relief, this wasn’t so bad. Daddy remained silent behind her, then her stomach clenched and tightened she felt a sudden need to…go! “Oh!” She groaned, “Daddy! daddy I need to go potty!”

Even through her panic she blushed at the words, but she feared making a mess.”

“Shhhh, it’s just a cramp sweety.” Daddy soothed, “you have half the bag to go. Just breath through it and feel your medicine”

“I gotta go!”

“Breath baby”

Slowly Babygirl calmed herself down and listened to Daddy’s coaching. The cramp eased, but she now was beginning to feel the volume. This is one quart? Daddy said it could have been two, she would be the best baby in the world, she didn’t want to feel what two quarts felt like.  

Soon the solution was all in her bottom admisdst the odd wave of cramps, Daddy was supportive but remained resolved that she take it all. Finally daddy clamped the hose.

“I am going to take the nozzle out now little one, when I do I want you to clench your cheeks, don’t want you to lose your medicine before it’s done it’s job.”

 Babygirl groaned, “I hate this.”

“Then remember that when you think to have a sassy mouth and rebellious nature with your Daddy.”

The nozzle came out, and she clenched her cheeks, another cramp hit and she moaned in desperation, “breath baby, you are doing well”

Daddy waited until the cramp receded then he spread her bottom cheeks and placed the tip of the lubed plug against her opening. “Now little one I need you to relax and push out like you are doing a doody”

Babygirl’s face was on fire with embarrassment and her guts were churning,”I’ll make mess! Please Daddy can I just go?”

“After you hold it for 15 minutes” Daddy assured her “timer starts when you are in the corner. Push out!”

Admitting defeat Babygirl did as Daddy asked and he expertly guided the plug in. It seated with an almost audible pop it seemed to the embarrassed little girl. But thankfully none of the water escaped. Daddy assisted her into an upright position and kissed her forehead.

“You are doing good baby,” Daddy assured her, “nearly there.”

He led the way to the corner as she waddled behind him with the liquid sloshing inside her.  

He positioned her with her hands against the walls and bent forward with her nose in the corner. Bottom jutting out to display the pink plug. She maintained position the first five minutes, the next five minutes gravity was showing its effect on the water within her as the cramps came in steady waves. Daddy soothed her with encouraging words but did not give into her pleas for early release. He conceded and allowed her to spend the final five minutes on her knees with her chest down to relieve some of the pressure, Babygirl took the concession gratefully, uncaring of the embarrassing display she made positioned on the floor.  

Finally it was time. Daddy helped her up and led her to the bathroom he stood her in front of the toilet and had her bend towards him. He reached behind her and pulled out the plug and she sat immediately. She looked at Daddy expectantly, waiting for him to leave. He smiled wickedly and leaned against the wall arms crossed. 

“You may release now baby.” Daddy said simply

Babygirl’s mouth fell open and her eyes widened. Nature took over though and despite her embarrassment she felt the solution begin to escape her bottom so she buried her face in her hands and let the tears come as she released. Daddy was right, she didn’t ever want to get a bad girl enema again. When she was done, she flushed and kept her eyes on the floor. She felt Daddy strong hands help her up and then he cleaned her bottom. She felt drained and embarrassed, but Daddy lifted her chin wiped her tears, giving her a light kiss on the lips, “I am proud of you Babygirl”

Those words washed over her and she smiled tremulously. She had done it, she had submitted to Daddy’s correction and he was proud of her. It made the discomfort and embarrassment disappear.  

“Now let’s give you a quick rinse and spank that naughty bottom before you get started on your homework.” Daddy announced.

Babygirl groaned but surprisingly gave a weary chuckle. “Yes Daddy.”

Release Granted!

  
Yesterday, I woke up from a fitful sleep to a text from Daddy. He said he was proud of me for all of my hard work on my assignment and though my 2nd video wasn’t processed yet he would allow me to cum last night at bedtime. That was a cherished and very welcome message ironically more for Daddy saying he was proud of me than the fact that release was in imminent sight. He stipulated before I played at bedtime I had to prepare myself in the usual way with my plug in my bottom and chopsticks pinching my nipples (this seems to have become my default uniform) and I had to put myself in the corner for 20 mins. I thought the anticipation throughout the day was agony enough. That sensation of so close but so far away plaguing me, but that 20 mins I the corner was torture. Keeping still was a challenge, then focusing my thoughts, I thought about my upcoming spanking, tried to imagine how I would take my very first caning, how my bottom would look after my correction. All of these thoughts though worrisome just seemed to send zings of arousal down through my core and had me clenching around the plug in my bottom which sent more zings through me making me want to roll my hips. My mind is still worried about my punishment but my body apparently found it quite hot (traitor!). When my time in the corner was done and I was finally able to play I could have easily gone over the edge in seconds I was so wet and throbby. Daddy wanted me to draw it out though and once I started I wasn’t allowed to stop until I had achieved three orgasms. Needless to say last night there were fireworks and exploding stars crossing my vision with hypersentsations that blurred between pleasure or pain. By the time I was done I could have been mistaken for a limp noodle, I was completely jellified. I slept very well last night.

Thank you Daddy.

My second assignment